STAN, LEAVE US ALONE!

My friend Cathy, she is a true professional, a stickler for accuracy and detail. Her business is medical transcription; typing what she hears the doctor say in her ears and transforming it into a document that legally describes what the doctor did. This might include the name of a test ordered or a drug prescribed. Cathy is certain when this document is printed out, it is a true and accurate representation of what the physician dictated. She is good at what she does, actually the best in our neck of the woods. The odd thing about it, she is deaf in one ear. Deaf? Maybe she is just extremely hard of hearing in one ear, I guess I really don't know. What I do know is that if you really want to talk to her, you sit on her left side. Right side; blank stares. Cathy is so used to maneuvering around her bad ear, it is obviously second nature when she goes to a restaurant to find the seat that will accommodate her ability to hear the waiter and her fellow diners. If she delays in finding a seat and someone else gets the good spot, it causes her great neck strain. Cathy had neck surgery a few years ago. I'm sure it had to be related to her lifetime of computer use with her job, but it could also be the constant turning to her left side she has to do to hear when I talk. And I do talk, a lot!

Now, don't get upset with me for mentioning this deeply personal issue my friend has. I am in awe of her. She has overcome this adversity and has had a great career that requires keen listening skills and with only half the ability to hear. How awesome is that? She is a great example of perseverance. I admire her fingers as they fly across a keyboard too. I have never heard her say how many words she can type a minute, but believe me, it would me in the triple digits, I'm certain. We will sometimes chat on instant messaging. I don't do this often because I type rather quickly and waiting on a hunt and peck typist is very annoying to me. Cathy and I can really chat it up because we both type rapidly. I enjoy our occasional talks online!

Cathy shares occasional funny emails with me about how a doctor's intended words were confused and a "female" becomes a "fat whale"...it's like the Mad Gab game. I laugh at the silly things that can come out of some of these mistakes. Mistakes made by other people, not Cathy, mind you. Except for this one confession Cathy made to me. I just have to share! It isn't even anything medical really. Cathy shares a lot about her faith with her friends she chats with online. But, when your professional transcriptionist friend shares her faith, one might expect the same accuracy in typing a personal note also. Oh contraire! For some odd reason, when she tells of satan's shenanigans, she cannot write the word satan, S-A-T-A-N. Cathy's fingers rebel and will only type Stan, S-T-A-N. So, after correcting this for quite sometime, Cathy told me of her digit dilemma and we decided Stan was forever the name for this coward we give too much credit to. Stan. He's a liar and a thief and he smells like smoke. If you have a loved one named Stan, please forgive me, but from here on out, satan is stan and stan is satan.

Later in the week, I was attending a bible study at church. That morning, things were pretty light hearted so I shared Cathy's new name for the evil one. We laughed about it and quickly moved onto something else. Later, the ladies had a time of prayer. During a moment when words failed one of the women she yelled out, "Stan, leave us alone!" She seriously meant it, but the laughter that followed was somewhat irreverent.

This war cry has become one I have used quite often since. Stan really does need to leave us alone. What's even better, Jesus is my warrior who fights stan off. Oh the battle is raging, people, and I am so happy that Jesus is in the fire with me and when I come out of the blazing inferno of life I do not even smell like smoke! But stan, he simply stinks!