HERE A THOUGHT, THERE A THOUGHT

I am not really sure why I quit blogging a few months ago, but here I go again. I'm not making any commitment, but this truly is therapeutic for me, writing. Beware, my thoughts tonight are very disjointed, random, and even discombobulated, if you will. You might want to buckle up, this could be a very bumpy ride. Here goes!

Only two more months until the adornment on my ankle will be removed! A surprise visit from the probation officer brought me good news yesterday. At least it was good in my estimation. I asked him about the removal date of August 8th and that being a Sunday, I would assume I would have to remain in the bracelet until Monday, the 9th. He suggested I could cut the bracelet off myself on the 8th! Can you believe it? I am really thrilled that I get to ceremonial remove this appendage myself! He is double checking, just to make sure I don't cause some sort of alarm in Washington, DC or something! I wonder if you think its silly to be excited about getting this thing off one day earlier, but believe me, it will be the best nights sleep I will ever have - without the bracelet! My leg will not sweat under the thick rubber band that holds the device tightly against my skin.

I asked a lot of questions during his visit and was satisfied with the answers. One huge continual concern was that I would not be able to visit my grandkids for 5 years without severe limitations and lots of red tape. He assured me, as long as things continue going as well as they are (read: as long as you don't screw this up...) then I could even be approved to visit my family in Kansas on a once a month basis. Can you believe it? Praise the Lord for working this out, that's what I'm saying!

Also, the judge sentenced me to 5 years probation, but did publicly mention that he was surprised himself to find out that it could be terminated after 1 year was served under certain circumstances. I asked yesterday for more details and the PO suggested we wait until 2 1/2 years and request probation be terminated then as it is more likely then. So, the way I see it, I will be done with this "stuff" by fall of 2012. That is so much better than 2015 as was earlier dictated.

Another issue is the 50 hours of community service. I have not done any of this because my back hurts so bad, I doubt I can do what will be asked of me at the one place they have to serve. I asked him about another option and he is checking into it. It would be service for the Kingdom instead of man if it all works out!

Do you see a pattern here? When all of the rules and limitations were placed on me, I gave unto Caesar what was Caesar's, but I cried out to God for help and he has already performed miracles in my favor. Sure, I would like to be free from all of these burdens now, but I guarantee you I am closer to God now than I was 3 years ago and He is being glorified, which I believe is one of the purposes in this happening in the first place.

Now, don't get me wrong, the days are long, the nights are short and my dog gets me through a lot of lonely times. The job search continues, the rejection still comes at me like darts flying in the air and landing on my heart. The satan imposed shame and guilt associated with the conviction lingers in the air like a dark cloud over my head. But through it all, "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able, to keep that which I've committed unto him against that day!" This may be a lyric to an old hymn, but it really is what my spirit is singing on a regular basis.

Am I getting to heavy for you? Okay, that was not a physical heavy - type question. I meant heavy as in deep, burdensome, weary, difficult to carry type of heavy. I don't want to do that so let's lighten this up a bit, shall we? (BTW, I already know the answer to the too heavy as in physical weight gain type question - whoa Nellie, I'm plump!)

So what shall we talk about next? Hmmm...we could talk about....well there's that one time....nope, that's not a good story to tell....what about that thing....nope, don't want to tell you that either. I think I will close this blog entry for now and give you something to laugh about another time. Right now, let's just praise the Lord together for all He has done for each of us and all He has planned for our lives and pray that our steps are ordered by Him! Agree with me? I thought you would, in Jesus' name! Amen! Let it be so!