Derby Days, Hats, Wal-Mart and Old Friends, Oh My!

I have to admit, living with my parents has been interesting. Yes, I'm being cautious with my words in case they read this! Their love and support, not to mention hot meals and clean sheets to sleep on, have been great. I have been blessed and God has provided during my time of need. This has not been a time of lack as one might think. I have gotten to know my parents in a different way in the past few months. I listen more intently when Mother begins to tell a story of her childhood. She recalls the times of long ago fairly well, but knowing what took place this morning is becoming more and more difficult for her. I have asked questions about my parents dates, dances they attended and movies they watched over fifty years ago. I've seen them struggle the past few months with chronic illness that has stolen their energy. I'm glad I'm here, no matter how difficult it is to be the 47 year old jobless, homeless, vehicle-less convicted felon daughter. I see lemons turning into lemonade though! My temporary stay here is going from sour to sweet with each passing day I get to spend with my elderly parents.

It is unfathomable to think that just a year ago, I was so happy driving a car of my own(well, bank owned in all reality-huge monthly payments), living in a very nice house in a town I loved with a job that afforded me shiny objects. I like shiny objects, new things, the latest gadgets, tools for the kitchen etc. I went on vacations, attended college football games and purchased unnecessary necessities. Wal Mart trips were enjoyable, no-sweat activities. Go in, get what you want and leave with a basket full. I never asked where the next meal was coming from. There was always plenty. My job was a real blessing. Meeting monthly obligations was not a problem, it seemed. I am not bragging, just stating where I have been versus where I am now.

I loved the people I worked with too. I was fortunate to travel out of state, particular to Kentucky, Indiana and Texas. And yes, there was a feeling of prestige on my part for being able to fly here and there. I felt as important as the business man traveling next to me. Of course, he wasn't too happy sitting next to a large person. There were times people were rude about it too. I sat for hours in airports watching the jet-setting crowd. They were a definite mixture of personalities and each had a different idea of what "style" was in the clothing department. All races, upper income and lower were flying somewhere. I wondered where they were going? Often families were quite obvious about where they had been with their Mickey Mouse ears perched on each toddlers head as if they were crowned in a knight ceremony that very day. "I dub you Mickey and Minney's friend forever..do not remove the black plastic hat or you will succumb to an evil spell!" Adults and children alike complied, wearing the silly looking ears the entire trip home! I might have been a bit jealous, you think?

The onslaught of senior citizens traveling to see their grandchildren in far off places struck me as possibly sad and happy events all rolled up, tucked in a suitcase with walker, cane or wheelchair in tow. I was happy they had these seemingly pleasant events to look forward to, seeing their loved ones for a special occasion. But, it appeared to be very difficult for some of these people to function in this technologically advanced environment. Most appeared as if the "One Minute Plus" button on their home microwave was as far as they had ever gotten with today's bells and whistles. The boarding process was very simple in my mind with the carrier I was using, however for these same passengers, it was too much. I was relieved to see blue plastic pouches hanging from a leather strap around their necks. This pouch indicated they were eligible for pre-boarding. The gate attendant would escort them personally down the ramp to the waiting plane. This was not a simple courtesy by he airlines, rather it was a method to keep from delaying the boarding process with those that would be moving slow. Believe it or not, the blue pouch was envied by many, me included. I actually tried to get a blue pouch once. I didn't not get it. I was not feeling well and wanted off the plane as soon as it landed. I predetermined in my head that if I was first on the plane by using the blue pouch, I could get a bulkhead or front row seat. This would assure that upon arrival to my final destination, as soon as the plane came to a complete stop at the gate, I would unbuckle my safety belt and dash on out. Unfortunately, the gate attendant at this particular airport did not feel it necessary to attend to my needs in this manner. She simply looked at my ticket, asked me if I thought I should delay my trip since I wasn't feeling well and then directed me with a gentle hand gesture in the air to the seat by the window that was now vacant noting the near proximity to the restroom all with a gentle, yet demanding whisper. I felt defeated, but it all worked out just as she said it would and I was fine. Memories are made of moments like this!

I met some wonderful people in Kentucky and fell in love with the community they offered me. I was in Louisville at the time of the 2009 Derby Week. The festival is huge with many venues to pick from. I love crowds of people having fun so his was right up my alley! I flew back home on the Thursday before the actual Derby Horse Race on Saturday. I am not a horse racing fan, but the electricity in the air caused you to be suddenly interested. The colors of green grass and white pillars from Churchill Downs were posted on every street corner, constantly streamed over the television airwaves and the talk all week was of nothing other than Derby related items. I took notice instantly of the hat vendors that sold what once were plain straw hats, now layered with silk flowers and huge bows in hopes that the one wearing it would stand out in the massive crowd during the Run for the Roses. Celebrities were flying in from all over the world for this two minute race. I sincerely doubt if most were interested in anything other than the social status that being there brought them. As I passed through the airport to board my flight home, I saw swinging hat boxes hanging off the wrists of beautiful women. The boxes were absolutely gorgeous in and of themselves. I could not imagine the prize inside could be any more stunning than the box itself. The couture knew exactly what he was doing because the package created a desire to own the box, hold the box, see what was inside the box and if lucky enough, wear the creation upon your head watching chins drop as you strolled through the crowded area on race day! The images of wearing one of those hats were in my mind as I raced toward the "Now Boarding for Tulsa sign that had recently been illuminated.

When my assignment to Kentucky and Indiana ended, I was definitely sad. I had extended family there it seemed. I made life-long friends there. More than that, I learned many lessons there too. One of my co-workers was Tiffany. She was a single mother of 4 living on a $7.50 an hour job and happy every single day. She would laugh with while telling me of her middle son's shenanigans of the day before. She had a laugh that I will never forget, not for its distinct tone, but for the fact that it was contagious! She would start laughing and telling a story and before long, people were gathered around her, chuckling, belly laughing and even an occasional snort would come out of those listening intently to Tiffany talk on and on. Tiffany would also share her dreams of someday being the first one in her family to attend and graduate college. She called it "university" most of the time. She would say, "Deb, I'm gonna make my momma proud when I go to university!" I believed here then and I believer her now. It may take her a while, but I certainly can see her walking across that stage, unable to contain her giggles, smiling her pretty white smile, a stark contrast to her very dark African-American skin, and receiving a diploma that, for her, feels like a one way ticket out of poverty. I want to work with Tiffany again. I want to associate with here forever. I call her once in a while. She laughs, calls me by name before I even announce who I am and then we pick up right where we left off. She tells me about her kids latest accomplishment or what her Mam-maw fixed for Sunday dinner and we let time run away. Mam-maw (the term of endearment she calls here Grandmother) liked to fix very traditional southern cuisine. I would wince at some of the menu items and Tiffany would...you guessed it...laugh.

When I returned home for the final time, my perspective changed somewhat. I no longer had as strong of pull to flashy items. My focus changed to wanting to spend time with my Meme (the term of endearment the grandkids use for my mother) and less time in Wal Mart stocking up on unnecessary necessities.

I'm spending time with my parents for sure now and it is working out fine. No car, no job, no money, but I am blessed beyond belief. Tiffany taught me that! I can't wait to see her again. I hope she wears a big hat with bright pink flowers, but all she will have to do is laugh and I will know it is my old friend!